HD 112300 b (sometimes Delta Virginis b, Minelauva b) is an exoplanet orbiting the asymptotic giant star Minelauva, nearly 200 light-years away in, well, Virgo. That should be extremely obvious by now.
Bio
As the sole companion orbiting Auva, he isn't exactly the kind to easily make friends so he sticks to Auva's side, and mostly opts out of any of the local cardboard piles people call "social gatherings". Sadly for Auva b, many things, including privacy, are completely thrown out the window due to Auva being... Auva. People always ask him how life is around his star, and it would be fine with him if everyone around him didn't have personalities as shallow as the many pans he would like to possess, as if his family could actually afford them. Since there's so many "counters" going around, it only makes sense that he would want to yield a pan, or really any form of cookware given his star powerups more than a certain red plumber and his green brother ever could. It often gets hard for Auva b to keep track of people when they all look the same like each other, almost like they're blatant and dull copies.... Nahhhh, that can't be it.
He doesn't know why countless stars, all female, keep entering the system and leaving, and every time he asks Auva, Auva never responds, but just... smirks. Like all the time, times when he isn't bragging about the latest 37 anime episodes he stared at in the span of 12 hours and how everybody in the entire universe will clap when he accidentally defeats a baddie due to running into them with his hands behind his back. In fact he never answers him, even when Auva isn't having any affairs. It got so bad to the point that one time, members of what he could only imagine was some conspiracy called Betelgeuse's Alliance kidnapped him and forced him to "talk", except Auva b had nothing to say since he was just as clueless as them. He's gotten really sick of this whole "good vs evil" conflict across the universe, and days upon days pass with no change in sight. Combine that with the nonstop questions and nobody giving any cares about him, and it becomes clear that he's dead on the inside and probably also wants to die, except he can't because Auva is somehow also dead too.
He can't escape Auva, and his life is a complete waste. At least, that's what he thought until he met another planet somewhere, out on the other side of the galaxy. He told Auva b that everything was going to be okay and... it captivated him. It made him realize that it's not quite over yet. He knew he had to be a keeper. Auva b hasn't seen him since but that won't stop his hopes of getting back together and dating from shining through, past all of the violated and mutilated laws of the universe he witnesses from his star. He always sees straight couples everywhere, but the thing is he doesn't care anymore. That planet somewhere is the only thing keeping him sane and afloat, although not by too much when Auva b suffers from countless things a day, such as the endless identity crises he's had with a few mindless husks he's never seen before.
They all say they're "heroic", but Auva b doesn't buy it. Everyone who's said that they're heroes just say it and proceed to do absolutely nothing whenever he gets harassed by people, some of them included. They all sit there and smirk with their abnormally small or large faces and act like they're saving things that aren't just each other, and that nobody else could be more perfect. They float around, mimic Dragon Ball Z, and randomly hit on each other like they're friends with everyone, forgetting that "everyone" also includes Auva b, and he doesn't care in the slightest. He doesn't feel confident at all that they are the ones that all of life, the universe, and everything favor. If anything, Auva b would rather watch the world keep burning like it already is. It seems rather redundant, but what else is he supposed to do in a zombie apocalypse that's clearly already happening?